The Will
by fiore777
Summary: What does Killua leave for the rest of the HxH cast in his will?


_Note_: I have an odd sense of humor, that is all :P

_Description_: What does Killua leave for the rest of the HxH cast in his will?

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The Will

"You are all present as benefactors in Killua Zaoldyeck will," began the lawyer, who eyed the odd assortment of people before him curiously.

Kikyou wept loudly onto Silva's shoulder. "He was my favorite son!" She exclaimed, ignoring the fact that her other children were present as well.

The lawyer started reading from the will, "To my good friend Gon, I leave my entire wardrobe, there's more then one green outfit in the world. In addition, I leave him all the chocolate except for the best which I shall be buried with. Who wants to be surrounded by dirt when you can be covered in chocolate?"

Gon considered the items and said, "But this green outfit is my favorite." Of course he was wearing the familiar getup.

"Wait, why did my Killua mention that child before his family!" Kikyou demanded.

The lawyer ignored her and resumed reading the will before him. "To my long suffering father, I leave a box of earplugs. Undoubtedly mother will be wailing your ears out at this point in time." At this Kikyou sniffed indignantly and glared at the lawyer.

Sweating under her gaze, the lawyer continued reading, "I also leave all my furniture to Silva. You would think my father would be able to furnish his room with more than an uncomfortable chair and a bed."

At this Silva spoke up, "It would seem my son had much to learn about being an assassin. It is all about the atmosphere, how would my clients feel if my room wasn't intimidating?"

"Comfortable?" Gon suggested.

Coughing to get everyone's attention, the lawyer read on, "I leave my collection of porn to Leorio, because what else would the dirty old man need."

"What's porn?" Gon asked curiously.

"I'm not that old!" Leorio announced, pointedly ignoring Gon's question.

"It is something to look at," came the reply from a certain demented magician. "Perhaps you would to view some with me?" Hisoka giggled at this as everyone else visibly paled.

"In addition, I leave all my surgical implements which include scalpels, forceps, clamps, shears, distractors, a lancet, double oscillating blades, catheters, injection needles, drills," and the list went on and on. "You might have some use for it if he ever gets around to becoming doctor."

Leorio's eyes widened as the list continued. "…Why exactly did Killua have all those instruments for operating on someone?"

"Work." Illumi responded coldly, he would have liked some of the mentioned equipment. Not that he didn't have several of them already, but it was always good to be prepared for his assignments.

"To my now probably sulking eldest brother I leave a tazer as well as the other tools I haven't listed, under the condition he eats a box of chocolates. I know you hate sweets." A little drawn smiley face punctuated this last statement. The lawyer did not see the need to mention this as Illumi was already giving him the assassin's patent chilly stare.

"To my younger brother, Karuto, I leave my laptop so you could develop some hobby aside from cross-dressing." At this, people unrelated to Karuto proceeded to stare at him. They all were fooled by his appearance. The young boy just scowled and the will crinkled itself up, falling into the trashcan.

"Karuto! Don't do that to your brother's will." Kikyou's voice caused her son to grudgingly uncrumple the will and placed it back on the desk.

The lawyer occupied himself with trying to make himself believe it was the wind that had so treated the paper. Glancing down he resumed reading, "To Milluki, I leave my bookbag in case the pig of a man ever leaves the house. Oh, and the games I return the games I 'borrowed' without permission.

"I knew he took some of my games, and I see no reason to leave the house unless necessary. I have everything I need in my room." Milluki proclaimed.

Glad to have gotten to the end of the will, the lawyer read on, "and last of all, Hisoka, I leave you with a warning to never touch Gon. If you do I'll haunt Illumi and get him to stop performing 'favors' for you."

"Favors?" Kikyou's voice rose an octave. "What kinds of things have you been doing with that man!" She pointed an accusing finger at the grinning magician.

"Well—" began Hisoka, but was interrupted by a pin slamming into the back of his chair.

"Nothing, mother. Just work." Illumi glared at Hisoka.

In the meantime, since the reading of the will was completed, the lawyer took the chance to slip out the door and ran away from the terrifying group of people. As he dashed down the hallway he heard an ear shattering, "But what did my son leave me, his dear mother!" echo down the passage.

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_End Note_: I could not imagine what Killua would leave behind for his mother or Kurapica ;


End file.
